Letting Go...

Today finally mommy has made the decision of "LETTING GO" of something which mommy should do it when Eeanne was born. The many dilemas, paranoid and future worries have delay mommy's plan all these years.

One day last week, mommy was so surprise to see Eeanne climbing up slowly on the adult potty, 2 hands grabbing on the side tightly to pee. Eeanne did it so expertly which made mommy stood still for a second. All this while mommy has been thinking to get Eeanne a small stool for her to stand on it to make her easily sit on the potty. Until that day, mommy realise Eeanne is really a grown up girl now.

When checking back with mama and kakak, then only find out actually Eeanne is already independent on doing her toilet business from taking out her pants, sitting on the potty and then wearing back her pants since few months back! That few seconds moment, mommy really felt so bad and guilty, mommy didn't even know Eeanne has reach this another milestone, this simple daily training is not even from mommy, it is from kakak!!...oh no...mommy felt so ashamed for that moment.....

Will this incident that awaken mommy's long ignorance and worries? I'm not sure really....but not long after that incident then mommy finally has the courage to let go.....

I'm sorry Eeanne that mommy can't totally fulfill your needs and giving you the full attention during the years that you most needed it, but mommy can reassure you that you will soon gets your double compensation for years to come. Hope it is never too late...

Of course this great sacrifice comes with some downfalls, there can't be anymore too luxury life, but of course mommy will not neglect Eeanne's basic needs.

Now only mommy truly feels the love and sacrifice of a mother.....instead of feeling hard to let go, now mommy only feels my heart is smiling...:-)